You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize