but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
