Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
