But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
