My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
