she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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