i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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