I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
