drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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