this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He did a backflip because drugs
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