Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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