He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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