ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
