you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
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