and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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