Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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