i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
