So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
