I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize