The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
