You work out of a Hotel?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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