yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I think I just shit out all my problems.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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