i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize