This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
