We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
