maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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