We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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