We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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