i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
