I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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