so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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