I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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