hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
