Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
