Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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