I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Just cropdusted the office
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
