if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
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He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
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We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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