I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
