I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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