I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
