Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
My ATM looks so different sober.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
