You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
