I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
