It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
