did you get engaged???
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
