oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
