Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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