i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
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