Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
