sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
