From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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