I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
