He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
