I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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