It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
