just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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