WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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