Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
