when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
