JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
