How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize