Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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